The lazy show. These are all little ditties that I laid down in Garageband last night and this morning. It’s much easier for me to make up music off the top of my head than it is to do research for a new show, that’s for sure. And please don’t think I take any of these tunes seriously – I was just, as a former friend of mine once said back in college, ‘fooling around with some chords.’ (And the work of Sir Edward Elgar, who I’m sure is spinning in his grave.) This is really intended to be some mindless background music for you. See how generous I am? Who needs a real show, anyway?
Final disclaimer: This is just Garageband, so it’s not exactly professional quality, but then again, when has this podcast ever been professional quality?
Final, final disclaimer: As I say in the show, these are all first takes, so you’ll hear mistakes and discrepancies. I think you can handle it, though.
Final, final, final disclaimer: It goes without saying that I’d really appreciate you not using these tunes for anything other than listening, as it’s not like I spent any time on these and really wouldn’t want people ‘in the wild’ to think that I spent hours and hours composing new tunes (and stealing others) and that this was the best I could come up with.
That said, here are the tunes and their stories:
1. Satisfy Jazz. When I was first trying to figure out this podcast, I originally intended this to be the theme. But the more I came up with ideas for the show, the more I wanted something more serious, so I went with the current theme that you hear every show (and which there is an extended version of on this show). You really can’t hear the ‘bass’ solo in the middle and the fake drum solo is, well, fakey sounding. What can I say? The opening snippet of melody (the three descending notes) are either lifted from Misty or Nature Boy. You decide.
2. Craig in D. There was a guy in college named Craig (I was originally going to use his last name instead of his first, but then I realized that his last name is also an ethnic slur) who used to sit at the piano and play these awful, cheesy, yanni-esque pop tunes at every opportunity. This song is my tribute to him and all of the budding pop pianists out there who find one chord progression and stick to it for an entire song. This number sounds like something John Tesh would write on a good day.
3. Balladia. Not a real word as far as I know, Balladia contains every rock ballad cliché in the books. If you’re not holding your lighter in the air by the end of this song, I don’t know what kind of person you are.
4. Apologies to Elgar. In the middle and again at the end, I threw a snippet of Elgar in. I guess just to see what Elgar’s music would sound like if he had written for discos. Although, every time my little improvised melody ends and Elgar’s begins, you can tell that I could never really remember the tune or the chord structure, so the melody sort of comes in and out, and really sounds like an enigma. Pun intended!
5. Satisfy Theme Extended. This is the theme I ended up going with for the podcast. If I had better equipment, I wouldn’t have to resort to cheesy synthesizer sounds.